Healing After Sexual Abuse: How to Begin Managing Trauma
Experiencing sexual abuse or assault is a profoundly traumatic event that can impact every aspect of life—emotional, physical, and relational. Healing is not linear, and the healing journey you take is unique and personal. However, there are steps you can take to reclaim your life and find peace.
Understanding Trauma: Why It Stays with You
One of the reasons that Trauma is so difficult to work with is because it’s hard to reach. Often, clients will find it difficult to talk about what happened to them, either from shame or dissociation. In some cases, clients don’t remember everything until they start to talk about it. So, part of the difficulty in working to heal from trauma begins in how to be able to confront it. This is why working with a therapist is helpful, as there is someone with you guiding you and looking out for you if things become too distressing to talk about. When you begin to confront your trauma story with a professional, you are able to confront it with help.
How do you know if you have trauma?
In the realm of sexual abuse or assault, Trauma can manifest as:
Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts
Difficulty in engaging in intimacy and sex with another
Difficulty trusting others; the feeling that you can only rely on yourself
Avoidance of certain people, places, or activities
Hypervigilance and/or feeling unsafe
Inability to focus
Sensitivity to loud noises/sensory overload
Low self-esteem or self-blame
Recognising that these responses are normal reactions to an abnormal experience is an important first step in healing.
Create a Safe Space to Feel Your Emotions
Trauma often teaches survivors to suppress their emotions as a coping mechanism. However, healing requires creating a space where it feels safe to feel. I would recommend therapy to help you move through your trauma because you don’t have to suffer or heal alone. The right therapist will be alongside you while you tackle these difficult issues. If you are unable to begin therapy at this time try to help manage your emotions by:
Journaling about your thoughts and feelings
Practicing mindfulness or meditation to stay present
Using an Acupressure Mat to help regulate anxiety * This is particularly helpful as it works from the bottom-up, I.e. by influencing and calming your body, you can calm your mind
Seeking out safe, supportive people who allow you to express yourself without judgment
Work with a Trauma-Informed Therapist
If you are ready to start working with a therapist, finding a good fit is really important. A trauma-informed therapist can help you:
Understand how the abuse impacts your thoughts and behaviours
Reprocess painful memories in a safe and supportive way
Learn coping tools to reduce triggers and feel more in control
Seeking therapy can feel intimidating, but it’s an investment in yourself and your future and you are worth it.
Reconnect with Your Body
Sexual abuse often disconnects survivors from their own bodies. Reclaiming that connection can be empowering. Some ways to gently reconnect include:
Yoga or movement practices that encourage grounding
Breathing exercises to calm your nervous system
Try to bring awareness to your body, starting at your toes and moving up through the body e.g. visualisations
Engaging in self-care activities that feel nurturing and soothing
The goal is to re-establish a sense of safety and ownership over your physical self. Your body is yours and no-one else’s, so at this time, being particularly sensitive to your needs and boundaries regarding your body is important.
Challenge Shame and Self-Blame
It’s common for survivors to carry feelings of shame or to blame themselves for what happened. Remember:
What happened to you was not your fault
The responsibility always lies with the perpetrator
The best antidote to shame in my experience is self-compassion. If you can remind yourself how and why things happened the way they did, you can remind yourself that you were doing your best at the time, in a difficult situation.
Challenging these beliefs might involve therapy, affirmations, or connecting with others who understand.
Build a Support System
You don’t have to face healing alone. A support system can make a huge difference in your recovery. This might include:
Trusted friends or family members
Support groups for survivors
Online communities that share resources and understanding
Knowing you are not alone can provide immense comfort and validation.
Be Patient with Yourself
Healing takes time, and setbacks are normal. It’s important to be kind to yourself and recognise that progress is often subtle. Celebrate the small wins, like reaching out for help or overcoming a trigger, and remind yourself that healing is possible.
Conclusion
Managing trauma from sexual abuse or assault is not easy, but it is possible. By taking small, intentional steps toward healing—whether through therapy, self-care, or building a support system—you can begin to reclaim your life and rebuild your sense of self. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone, and there is strength in seeking help.
If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing, reach out to a trauma-informed therapist or a support network today. You are worthy of healing, peace, and freedom.
My name is Katie, and I’m an existential psychotherapist who takes a warm, empowering, and attentive approach. I specialise in working with people who have experienced grief, trauma, and low self-esteem, and I’m deeply passionate about helping clients live more authentically and confidently.
If you think we might be a good match, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to visit my contact page to get in touch.
